How to get rid of bingo wing arms

When I embarked on writing this piece about my upper arms – my floppy flappy bingo wings – the first thing I did was search through five years of summer holidays and sea swimming photos on my phone. It took a while.

I was looking for a ‘before’ picture from the days when I didn’t go to the gym three times a week, to show how fat and flabby my upper arms used to be.

But in every single shot where I’m sleeveless, my arms are up in the air, in a jaunty ‘ha ha!’ showbiz pose.

pals, every woman in every picture is in just such a stance…

It’s a collective middle-aged women’s nightmare, this upper arms business. It seems like we’re all hyper self-conscious and self-shaming about them. Indeed, I know lots of women who never wear sleeveless tops or dresses, even in the hottest weather, because of it.

Living in Sydney for eight years, I quickly learnt that naturally air-conditioned armpits are actually the only way to feel comfortable in the heat, so I get my arms out in public – but that doesn’t mean I like them.

. Pure defined muscle and bone. Nothing on there to swing.

.

Has it worked? A bit. When I tense my arms there is visible muscle now and I like the shape of my biceps, but when I relax them, that lack of definition is still there. There’s more than an inch of flab to pinch.

So, what’s the answer? Well, first we need to understand the cause.

in the first place, because we have lower testosterone levels.

It’s a double wobbly whammy.

that inexorably comes with age.

, and by 50 we’re not making it at all – and what we have starts to break down.

Which is why I think women are so collectively bothered about their upper arms. As the pejorative term implies, bingo wings telegraph age. They’re arms’ eye bags.

So what can we do?

to help build that all-important lean muscle.

can make life a lot easier.”

With that in place, he does design specific exercise programs for his clients’ arms – but says it’s vital to consider them as part of the total body set up.

should be part of a balanced routine that also trains the hamstrings, glutes, core and upper back,” he says. “These are the key muscles that maintain tall posture and ensure that the shoulder is positioned where we want it to be.

ensuring the shoulders and arms are ‘carried’ in the best possible way.”

Or, to put it another way, the arm bone is connected to the shoulder bone and so on.

Another thing Worthington put me right on was fear of over-training my upper body in pursuit of my lean Madonna arms.

I confess I’ve actively avoided machines at my gym with names like ‘bicep curl’ and ‘shoulder press’ for the last two years, because I was genuinely concerned about developing Popeye biceps, or increasing my already substantial swimmer shoulders.

Dream on, says Worthington.

,” he says, “thinking that the result will appear manly. But building muscle is actually a very difficult thing to do and takes years of specific and dedicated training, it’s definitely not something that happens accidentally.

“Being nervous of getting too bulky from training with weights is like not taking your driving lessons in case you accidentally win the Formula 1.”

Since learning this, I’ve added several new contraptions to my gym visits, which is great to stop boredom setting in. I’ve also started doing a specific routine for arms recommended by no less than Madonna’s personal trainer, Craig Smith.

You grab a couple of dumbbells – from 2-5kg, I use 4kg – and, holding one in each hand, go into a squat, then come back to standing, bringing the dumbies up to your waist, at the side.

Squat again, then arise bringing them up the front in a bicep curl to your shoulders, with elbows tight to your side. For the third squat, come up pushing the dumbbells straight over your head, holding for a couple of beats.

Listening to Madonna while doing it is optional, but it certainly motivates me.

I do three sets of 15, which seems like a very efficient way to work my legs, glutes and a royal flush of back, shoulder and arm muscles – as advised by Worthington.

Once you have some moves and weight machines in place you feel good about, the key thing is to stick at it. There is no easy upper arm fix. You have to be dogged and consistent to see results.

, she is noticing a real improvement in her arms.

Or you can have surgery. Looking at before and after pictures of brachioplasty ‘arm lifts’ online, there are some women who had serious upper arm dewlaps, hanging down a good 10cm, that you could see would be properly distressing – not just a bit annoying like my loose skin.

Such cases seem to be impressively sorted out by the scalpel, but for more normal, naturally ageing arms, weight loss and exercise seem a much better option.

, where we took these pictures, costs £25 a month – while also massively benefitting your physical and mental health in multiple other ways.

The other option of course, is just to embrace them.

.

They seem to be completely at ease with their young bodies, even if they don’t fit current physical ideals and I love them for it.

We collagen-depleted older women should take a tip from them. There is no shame in having a bit of loose skin on your upper arms. So, free your bingo wings. (It’s what fake tan is for.)

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